7/21/10

I hate the beauty of the world
The moon, the stars, and all the spaces between
Hell is not a place, it's an absence
And all the beauty just reminds me
of what isn't here
Here or there, ten thousand miles away
The beauty of the world is all just a shadow
dancing on the cave's walls
illuminated by fire
obscured by smoke
but always, always
there is you
And everything else
is just shadows on a wall

7/19/10

I was wondering if maybe
I could have my heart back for a while
I know I gave it to you
but I kind of need it,
you know, to move blood to my limbs
and maybe my brain,
no, not my brain
It'd still be yours and all
I'd just be borrowing it
and to be fair, it's broken anyway
and you're not using it
I'd just need it for a while
until maybe someone else
gives me theirs

7/2/10 to 7/18/10

DIAMONDS, 7/18/10

She keeps a diamond in her heart
It belongs there, she says
Because it’s hard and cold
It fills the empty space
That no man can touch
She keeps a diamond in her heart
It belongs there, I say
Because it’s a precious thing
A tear shed by Venus
In memory of a kiss
She keeps a diamond in her heart
It belongs there, I guess
Because it’s bright and it shines
And fills the empty space
That I could never touch

CANYON ROAD, DAWN, 7/17/10

In the cool of the morning
Just before first light
Walking down a canyon road
and thinking about a girl
lost to the world
It seems like I’ve spent half my life
walking down canyon roads
in the cool of the morning
Just before first light
Thinking about a girl
lost to the world

7/16/10

Age and time
have taken away my high notes
I reach for them
but no sound comes
leaving only
an earthy growl
just right
for honky-tonk blues

7/15/10

Devil on my shoulder
shrugs and shakes his head
while the angel is busy
trying to hail a cab

HOPE, 7/14/10

Hope,
like the condom in an awkward teenage boy’s wallet
is something I carry with me
in case, someday
I need it

7/13/10

Hate is a curse
Love is a promise
And between them
is the whole of the world

SHE IS A DANGER, 7/12/10

She is a danger
To herself and others
but most of all
to my heart

7/11/10

Are you there
or am I just tossing these words out
to an indifferent wind
to be blown apart
scattered like the thoughts
as they echo through my fevered brain
Do you hear me
a voice in the wilderness
calling out to the paradise denied
not now, maybe next year
Is it you I dream about
when sleep comes at last
you, filling the empty place beside me
Only to be gone again
as consciousness returns
Are you there
Do you hear
Is it you

GRACE, 7/10/10

Stumble and fall
for all my life
I have lacked grace

7/9/10

She was the saddest song I never played
A melancholy melody that is my existence
and I, but a footnote in hers
and yet the song plays on
in my head
a waltz in 3/4 time
as she slowly dances away

7/8/10

The song of my life
minor chord to major seventh
A string of notes
a sad melody
but sometimes
the most beautiful notes
are the ones not played

FORGETTING, 7/7/10

Forgetting
I wish I could
but the curse of my memory
is to remember every second
fully situated in time and space
and though sometimes I long to forget
I know I never will
and so with the memories
I will build a wall
behind which I might find shelter
from the onslaught
of everything
but the things I wish I could
…forget

LOVE, 7/6/10

Love, or something like it
in your lips and tongue
the warmth of your body
the feel of your heartbeat
against my own
Here, tonight, now
and the morning,
which might never come
If not love, still something like it
Still to be cherished
when the morning comes

7/6/10

Where do we go from here
Do we struggle and fight
or just walk away
What does it matter
you say
when everything falls away?
And I can’t give you any answers
Still, I want to believe
despite myself.
I just want to hold you
feel your warmth against mine
one last time
that old comfortable thing
and then we go on from here
though neither of us know where
apart

THE BOUNCER’S LAMENT, 7/4/10

I can laugh
It comes easy to me
And I smile readily enough
They say I have a nice smile
the barflies and regulars
the drunk girls and the lonelyhearts
And if I look down
or glance off to the horrizon
to some far off place
As they talk their drunken talk
Don’t think that I can’t smile
It’s just that I feel the longing
as we all do
that whiskey doesn’t kill
I feel it in the cold night air
Yet still I can laugh
You know,
It comes easily to me

LAST CALL, 7/3/10

Is this love
the heat and the rush
or is it just the moment
the kiss and the touch
When I look in your eyes
what is it that I see
And what do you look for
in mine
Is this all a lie
or something else
Not love, but still real
As real as anything can be
in the heat and the rush
and the drunken fondling
of the last call

DENIAL, 7/2/10

I don’t want you any more
No, not very much
No more than I want breath in my lungs
I don’t think of you any more
No, not very often
Except when I do
which is all the time
I don’t care about you any more
No, not with all my heart
Not through my sleepless nights
Not through my pointless days
No, I don’t want you any more
Not all that
until the end of the world
Whatever everyone says

6/30/10 and 7/1/10

7/1/10

I don't want to cry so easily
I don't want to shed tears
for sad songs and tragic endings
I want to be tough and hard
like Mitchum or Bogart
The guys who never show the pain
except for in their eyes
when the dame shoots 'em in the back
I don't want to cry so easily
not now, not any more
I want to save my tears up
to hold them like diamonds
gems amongst the gravel
They should be precious
Tears
So I don't want to cry so easily
except I will
because like love
Tears grow the more you give

Uncomplicated Joy/Independence Day, 6/30/10

Crash and bang
and children shout in pleasure
the uncomplicated joy
of illegal fireworks
It's always fun
until someone blows his hand off
And I feel a thousand miles
from anyplace I love
as another little bomb goes off
to the delight of the crowd
but I'd rather hear the rumbling roar of the ocean
and taste the salt on my tongue
than the gun powder smoke
For it's lost to me
the uncomplicated joy
of illegal fireworks

Three poems, 6/27 to 29/10

Remberance, 6/29/10

I will remember you
through the mornings and the days
against the backdrop of my life
a greenscreen image
as I act the part
written for another
miscast and mistaken
Remembering everything
as is my way
what might have been
If only ...
those saddest of words
Leaving nothing but
my memory
to haunt and perhaps to heal
but never forget
all that is
You

PARADISE, 6/28/10

A promise whispered to the wind
cast loose and forgotten
but still
held in the palm of my hand
dried roses and dust
until the last days of summer
Paradise
Once found
in the eyes of a girl

QUESTIONS, 6/27/10

How can I write a poem
when all I feel is the loss
How can I face the rest of my life
without you as a part of it
How do I find the words
when, like you,
they won't come again
What is the point
when everything comes to an end